Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
