she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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