Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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