It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize