I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
