Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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