just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
