is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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