Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize