oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
