From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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