i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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