Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
