Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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