I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
