Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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