Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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