Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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