It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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