She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
