Me too!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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