Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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