I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
