Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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