Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
