we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize