Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
