is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
