We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize