I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
