I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
