this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
