ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
