I hate all girls vehemently.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
