hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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