Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
