Will you blow on my dice?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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