Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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