How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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