I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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