i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
