i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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