Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
