What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
