The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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