If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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