look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
