If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
try to milk me bitch
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