Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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