I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
