At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
