Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
