If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
