Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
