Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
