OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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