We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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