Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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