I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Randomize
