A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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