a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Randomize
