I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize