You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
