i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
