Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
