well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
FUCK WHALES
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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