we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
