You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
