Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
