he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
