Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
